Coaching young kids? Be positively patient.

Praise relentlessly.

Yesterday, I had one of my greatest breakthroughs as a coach of youth sports.  For all I know, we lost the game.  I have no clue how well my son did yesterday.  I was so focused on one particular challenge.

We had a kid yesterday that showed up kind of apathetic.  He showed up with no energy.  He played half the game with his hands in his pockets.  He let the ball hit him and didn't move his arms to embrace the ball.

My normal approach was failing.  My initial reaction was to give the kid directives: "do this, do that."  I kept trying.  After a while, I began to think "I am literally telling this kid what to do, how to do it, and when to do it... so, why isn't he doing it?"  I was also not content just merely turning my focus to the other kids.  It's the easy thing to do, and often the most practical thing to do, but it felt like giving up a little.

After a tremendous amount of trial and effort, I finally landed on something that works.

Only speak to praise the positive.

I'm not going to sit here and suggest that this works for every kid or even the majority of kids.  But it might just work for that kid that you know can do it but is just stuck.  I found myself talking way too much and way too often.  All of that direction can just be too much, even if it's correct, even if it's timely, it can just be too much. 

Somewhere in the second quarter of that game, I just decided to shut up.  I let the kids play more and I talked less.  But when the kids did something truly marvelous and just the way we drew it up, I praised the hell out of it.  All of a sudden, I started seeing them do more of that very thing I praised the heck out of.  I was quiet for all else, except for when they got it exactly right.