As soon as I had my first son, Mason, I would joke with my friends that we were going to train him to be a left-handed pitcher. A Southpaw. Daddy's retirement fund. Maybe even daddy's unfulfilled dreams.
Oh, how dumb I was.
In the years since, I have been lucky and blessed enough to have two additional sons. I've also gone on to coach several youth teams.
It started out fun. We were learning together, growing, developing.
After a year or so, the hyper competitiveness kicked in. The attitude of the players changed into "haves" and "have nots" very quickly. Some kids would hold themselves in higher regard because they made a certain travel team. The other kids inevitably felt excluded for no good particular reason.
It bothers me.
The expectation is that my son needs to play on the travel team. Somehow, I'm not fostering his development if he's not spending multiple nights practicing and entire weekends playing baseball. Somehow, even if the kid is still in elementary school, he needs to be spending more time shuffling back and forth to the baseball field than he is with the rest of his family. I can't figure out how other people do it, but we've slowly figured out: it's not for us and that is okay.
To a large degree, I am beyond thrilled and flattered that other people see the talent I see. We've been asked on multiple occasions to try out for these teams. Based on how he competes with his peers on a regular basis, I'm pretty confident he would make the team.
But I don't have the heart to do that to him or our family.
Signing a child up for a travel team in elementary school feels like doing something I want to do as opposed to something he wants to do. My interest in him being a great ballplayer cannot outweigh my interest in him having a childhood filled with impromptu backyard games and a little boredom.
Don't get me wrong: travel teams have their place. They may be a viable option for some families. But if your heart is telling you not to do it, then don't. Chances are, it's not something you'll regret. Instead? Schedule an outside BBQ and a classic game of wiffle ball.