Kobe Bryant Passes at 41... 5 Things He Taught Me About Sports and Parenting

The news is unimaginable: Kobe Bryant passed away on Sunday at the age of 41.  Kobe Bryant was indeed one of the best players to ever play the game and he belongs in every conversation about who's the best.  He played 20 years.  He won 5 championships.  Winning 5 championships in any sport is almost impossible.  He was the youngest to reach 30,000 points.  He won 2 gold medals on the men's national basketball team.  The list of his accolades goes on for a while.  But sadly, it's time to reflect on not just his acumen as a basketball player, but the impact he made on fans, athletes, sports, and our culture.  

His death has had a greater impact on me than I ever expected.  I admired Kobe Bryant, but beyond watching games, I was not an ardent follower of his.  I think, as a father, watching what happened has me shook the most.  He was showing that his life, after one of the best careers in NBA history, was about his children and making an impact with our youth.  There are countless anecdotes out there of him impacting a child's life.  It's painful to think that the world doesn't have Kobe Bryant anymore.  He was thriving in this current phase of his life.  And it's the suddenness of it all that has us all grieving not just his death, but the reality that it can really happen to any of us.  We can thrive and because of some particularly small event, it can all be taken away from us.

I don't get a lot of viewers on this website and that's OK.  But to those that do happen to read this, I ask you to channel your inner Kobe.  You could call it the #KobeChallenge, if you want.  You don't know if tomorrow even exists, so what are you doing today to make the world a slightly better place?  Buy a stranger coffee.  Apologize to someone you've been in a feud with.  Call someone randomly that you haven't spoken to in years.  Hold that door open a little longer for someone.  Volunteer at your child's school.  Challenge yourself, challenge your inner Kobe.

I didn't expect Kobe's death to have this kind of impact on me, but here we are -- making the world better, regardless.  Kobe taught me more than I realized.  Using his words as our guide, here are the 5 things that Kobe Bryant taught me about being a father and raising athletes.

The most important thing is to try and inspire people so that they can be great in whatever they want to do.

To me, this means let your kids be great, but be great at what they want to do.

I am especially guilty of this sin.  

I think I too often force what I am interested in on my kids instead of them leading me to the things they are interested in and passionate about.  Unfortunately, you can't transfer passion through osmosis -- as a parent, we've all tried.  But you can listen to your child and inspire them in the things they want to do.  Your kids will do great things.

If you’re afraid to fail, then you’re probably going to fail.

Failure is inevitable, which is one of the reasons I love baseball.  But the question is whether you're in the batters box determined to hit the ball or whether you're sitting there resigned to the idea of striking out.  Where do you fall in this camp?  How does this view affect you as a parent?  I get the "failure is realism" arguments, but I can't think of any better argument for this than Kobe's last game.  He started ice cold... and I mean ice cold.  He missed the first 5 or 6 of his first shots.  He then went on a tear that led to a 60 point game in his last game in the NBA.  The difference was that Kobe never doubted what he could do, regardless of how many times he missed a shot.  

We all have self-doubt. You don’t deny it, but you also don’t capitulate to it. You embrace it.

It's awfully reassuring to hear that someone with Kobe Bryan't skills and abilities to acknowledge and embrace self-doubt.  All too often, I look around thinking that everyone else has it all together.  That's such a dangerous thought pattern.  First, I'm focused on other people--not me.  That's the first mistake.  Second, I'm feeding into the self-doubt that's circulating through my veins.  Like the quote suggests, I think the answer is to turn self-doubt into action.  If you doubt that you can't do something, then commit yourself to doing that something.  Whatever it is.

The most important thing is you must put everybody on notice that you’re here and you are for real.

I absolutely love this.  I can't get enough of it. What do you want in life?  Just think about that for a second.  You must, if you care about what happens, put out into the world that you are here for that one thing.  You're not waiting on good things to happen to you.  You are making things happen, each little day at a time.  Every minute, every moment, you're closer to your goal.  Don't relent.

It’s the one thing you can control. You are responsible for how people remember you—or don’t. So don’t take it lightly.

How fitting was this quote in retrospect?  Kobe cared a lot about his image and how he presented himself to the world.  You can't control the world's opinion of you, but you sure can influence it by the way you act, dress, and present yourself to others.

You have the power to be memorable, if you so choose.  None of us will ever be as memorable as Kobe Bryant, but that's OK.  Are you memorable in your own backyard?  If not, nothing else matters.