Have you ever thought that failure is really just a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time? To a certain extent, I think there's a lot of truth to that, but there's a ton to unpack with that. If we fail because we were in the wrong place at the wrong time, does it mean that everything else was "right?" Probably not. Blaming things on the circumstances may blind us to defects or deficiencies in our own process and state of being. What does that mean? It means don't blame some outside force for your circumstance - if you failed, you failed. It does not matter when it happened. Sure, you could have had some bad luck but blaming luck will not give you the kick-in-the-ass that you need to get that ass in gear. Let's dig in a little bit.
Some people call life a canvass.
As you paint with your brush, sometimes the bristles of the brush do exactly as you want. Other times, the brush wreaks havoc - it operates almost as if it has a mind of its own. Why is that? Well, to some extent, we don't know. What we do know, however, is that there are two universal threads that are inextricably woven: the canvass and the brush. You can't have one without the other and you cannot have failure without happenstance. You also can't have success without failure, or happenstance, either (ah, do you see where this is all going, yet?). While failure is often viewed as the polar opposite of success, you cannot have one without the other and so they exist together. How does happenstance fit into all of this? Well, happenstance (i.e., the wrong place, wrong time) is essentially the unpredictable and random event that happens to you. Sometimes it's innocuous - maybe you are painting and the brush sprays a little too much extra paint on the canvass. Other times, you accidentally, but gently knock the paint can on the floor (and as that happens, you utter - or scream - many four letter words). These unpredictable moments not only happen but they change the trajectory of time. We must let happenstance occur and teach us much in the same way we must let failure (and its corollary, success) happen). , on the other hand, is the unpredictable, often random nature of events that shape our lives. When these two forces collide, they create a dynamic interplay that can lead to unexpected outcomes, profound lessons, and ultimately, a richer understanding of ourselves and the world around us.
The everything happens for a reason paradox
After an "oh shit" moment of failure, the dust will eventually settle. After that dust settles, some new normal has emerged and we have adapted to it (regardless of whether that "new normal" was a rung better or a rung worse than your previous spot on the ladder). In that way, our survivalist tendencies are fantastic buffers against the harsh realities of life. But in other ways, it confuses the task before us: we must be striving towards our purpose, and as each foot hits the pavement, those feet should be acquiring new skills, talents, and knowledge to propel us towards our purpose. And so the danger of "everything happens for a reason" is that it means we're chalking up our existence to whatever happens in the universe as opposed to us grabbing the situation by horns and deciding where and when we go and how fast we will get there. In other words, are you content being a passenger or a driver? And worst yet, do not be a "backseat" driver in your own world (complaining about your current existence without having the guts and courage to take the damn wheel and drive).