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When you create something bigger, your failures are given context

The first chunk of my life was dictated for me.  I went to school and I was told what to do in school.  I got a job and I was told what to do at that job.  I went to college and I was told what to do in college.  I found a better job and I was told to do in that job.  

My success in those different contexts was some milestone, goal, or achievement that was given to me by those different contexts.  I didn't have to think about what the goal was - it was merely given to me.  In some sense, that's great - I appreciate that someone was training me.

But the problem is that no one told me that I was merely being trained.  Without necessary communication and context, I kept drifting through the days thinking another goal or milestone would magically appear.

Well, it didn't.  And it took me a few years to figure this out - more than I'd like.  

What did I learn in the process?

That you must set those goals for yourself - even if those goals suck, you are practicing a necessary skill.  You are practicing the art of setting a target and trying to hit it.  There is real value in both and even if you miss, look like a fool, and fail fantastically, you sure as hell got better at two things: setting targets and trying to hit them.  The more you go through that process - yourself - you will get better at it.

And so the lesson, from the earliest age you can, is to learn how to set those goals for yourself, set forth tangible things you are doing to achieve those goals, and then figure out if it was enough.  Rise, lather, repeat and a great life was indeed made.  

So, just as a thought exercise: what goals were placed in front of you?  What goals are you setting for yourself?  How do you feel differently about those different goals?

Now, to the meat and potatoes of the point I'd like to make.  When you set these goals for yourself, you're setting multiple goals.  They begin to stack.  They grow in size and magnitude.  And sure, the first few failures sting and hurt.  But after a while, they lessen.  To some extent, you developed some tough skin.  But also, you developed coping skills and an understanding that there's a bigger thing you are trying to achieve than just the smaller goals along the way.  No one achieves 100% of their goals, so why get upset when a few things don't go your way?  

Again, context is everything.  

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